Categories
All Posts

Writer, a word I’m in love with

Hiya sweeties! I’ve been very busy, schoolwork, schoolwork and more schoolwork. (Read: SOMEBODY HELP! SOS)

Anyways, it took me forever to write this post, partly because I was so invested in reading this book called “Deep Work” by Cal Newport. I highly recommend it even though, I’m not done with it yet.

Today, I’d like to talk about something very dear to me: words. Since I can remember, I’ve always had this fascination with words. Words, words, words. They were my chemicals in a science lab. I could play around with them, not take myself seriously, take myself seriously, experiment with what works for me and what doesn’t and just generally hone the craft of writing.

Around last year, I finally got the courage to call myself an artist. A writer, a poet. It was a terrifying process, labelling myself. When you’re a writer, you see, you wish with every atom of your being to be called a writer and yet, you don’t actually call yourself one. Why? Because you’re not sure if your writing is even counted as valid or worthy enough for you to be called a writer. Fortunately, I got through that alive.

But today, suddenly a thought struck me: I call myself a writer but am I really living up to it?
I had become a hack who never wrote but fell in love with word : “WRITER.” I realized that writing only when I want to scribble all over the notebook is not ever going to make my writing take off where I really want it to go.

I really believed I was doing something. But I’m not. Writing, right now, is something that I play with over the weekend. I don’t want that.

Writing is one of the things that calls to me. I wanna write and write and write until I’m drowning in my words, submerged in them to the complete point of no return.

After the realisation that I wasn’t really accomplishing anything, I had this ache to write. It didn’t even had to be a good piece. I just had to write. So I did. I painted out 500 words of a scene that I had in my head. And, I thought, this is what I want to do. I want this. Everyday, I want this. Just one hour of uninterrupted writing while Jazz plays in the background.

After this connection with my emotions, I felt like this is something that needs to be shared. I found a profound connection when other people my age were still struggling to explore the world.

As a young writer, I take it as my duty to be as honest and as prolific as possible. I hope that I can finally live up to the name I’ve given myself, a writer.

Categories
All Posts

Be gay, do crime :)

Happy pride month, y’all!

If I had a favourite festival, it would probably be pride month (though, I’m not sure whether it is counted as a festival…) It just makes me so happy that we have a WHOLE month dedicated to love of all kinds. Pride month is wayyyyyy better than Valentines day or something (please don’t kill me). On valentine’s day, you have a particular way to express your love. But pride month allows the celebration of love in any way, regardless of your gender.

Love isn’t restricted to certain people. It’s a privilege for everybody. And nobody can actually take it from you. At the end of the day, no matter what, we all crave love. That’s the ultimate goal. You can lie to yourself and tell that it’s not but deep down, no matter how hurt you are/have been, you’ll always crave love.

I tend to have (particularly weird) tendencies. One of them is being obsessed with queer rights. I identify as a straight person and yet when I turn on my rainbow activist, I’m labelled as gay. AS THOUGH IT’S A BAD THING. It annoys me so damn much. ALL HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT NOW. Sorry, I just got a bit carried away.

I don’t like (HATE) the whole perspective of love being denied, forbidden or unacceptable.

Anyways, my point is that LOVE IS LOVE. Love is diverse. It can be fixed or fluid. Restricting it is only going to reduce the liberality to be honest and true to yourself and others.

I love lbtq+ love soooo much that I’ve written a poem on it. You can read it here: https://abookofmusic.wordpress.com/2020/05/19/society-has-bigger-problems-than-guys-who-kiss-guys-and-girls-who-kiss-girls/

The whole point of this post is that society has made a standard way of love. It displays love in a particular way. (And unfortunately, sometimes, I fall for it too.) If there was no portrayal of love in mainstream media, I’m 99.68% convinced that each of us would have a unique way to express love. Love wouldn’t have a gender. We wouldn’t be judgmental about it. Rather, we would all be poets and writers, writing about love all the time.

I’m just saying, why can’t we just accept our primal nature?

Here’s a song:

OMG rainbow love i can’t even!!!!! cries in gay and obsesses over love ok bye

“Why judge gender when you can judge personality?”

Categories
All Posts

Today, I was left heartbroken

To some people, it will sound stupid and that’s alright. But under no circumstances are you allowed to think that this is even the tiniest bit funny.

So, let’s start with the story.

We had a box full of CDs and DVDs and electronic components and etc. So, I opened it in hopes of finding an external webcam. I didn’t find the webcam but I found something better: Cassettes! And a cassette player with it! (They were my dad’s.)

It was love at first sight.

The player didn’t have any batteries and I resolved to get them. But I had to put that resolve on hold until the next day because no shops were open.

The batteries were keeping us apart.

The next day, when I did get the batteries, my beautiful cassette player betrayed me and didn’t work. I, literally, cried (and before you tell me, no, it’s not wrong usage of literally). All my hopes of the cassette player were dashed. I looked so desolate that my mom left me alone for the rest of the day and the work she would normally assign to me was assigned to my sister. Which didn’t lift my spirits, if you were wondering (which you were not.) My dad told me that we would get it fixed after the pandemic stabilizes.

With our modern age of internet, I searched up how to fix cassette players. I learnt a lot about Cassette players and their workings and cassettes. But since I’m a beginner, I didn’t dare try to fix the player.

No matter how much betrayal you face, you still wouldn’t want to hurt your beloved.

So, moral of the story, never ever ever fall in love with cassette players, they always betray you.

Categories
All Posts

-my way of dealing with you

The Universe is a poem…

“Why do you write so much, love?” he asked me.

Why do I write?

When I think about you, babe, my head goes crazy with the thoughts.

I wonder how to stop myself from going insane. The answer is I can’t. I can’t stop myself from going insane.

That’s why I write. I write so much because I can’t stop thoughts. I write and write and write because the only way I can live the next moment is by writing.

Not because I like to.

Not because I want to.

But because I need to.

I need to write to stop myself from getting killed.

I need to write to survive.

I need to write to breathe.

Breathe from the thoughts of you that might kill me.

“I like writing,” is my not – so – honest answer to him.

Gracias.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started